Zakat Nablus

How to Dispense Advice

It seems that everybody has his or her own opinion on just about anything these days. If you look at the World Wide Web, a lot of articles are more of How-To guides about any topic you can think of. There are also websites that are solely dedicated to advice and answering questions touching on anything from diseases to relationship problems to crafts and hobbies.

On a personal level, we have friends, family and loved ones coming to us for advice. Being asked for it is one of the greatest compliments. It is a flattery. And it is also a sign that you are being held in high esteem by someone and that your opinion on matters concerning that other person’s life is important. It may be ego boosting, but it also entails a certain amount of responsibility and authority. Thus, always try to be careful when giving someone your advice.

Here are ways on how to effectively give advice.

1. Listen.

It may be a common problem, but remember that each one has unique circumstances that complicate it. By listening attentively, you can be sure that you factor these in and give the best advice possible.

It is also through listening that you are able to determine if you can help the person or not, by knowing if you are really in the position to give advice, and knowing if you are familiar enough with the problem to actually point out possible solutions.

If you feel that you really cannot help the person, then be honest and tell him or her that you do not know enough to help. Don’t pretend you are an expert on the matter at hand when you really lack the experience necessary.

2. Ask questions.

If something is unclear to you about the problem, then do not hesitate to ask questions. This helps you fully grasp the situation. Asking the right questions can also help the person seeking your advice to see the situation fully, or allow them to explore areas that they might not have seen before.

3. Empathize.

Remember that the person is seeking advice from you because he or she does not have a clear idea of what to do. The focus should be on him or her and not on yourself. If you have experienced being in the same situation, then offer what you have learned and do not dominate the conversation by starting with "when I was..." or "what I did..." and then going on and on about yourself and whatever you’ve experienced.

4. Be sure the person really wants advice.

It might sound contradictory, but it might be best not to give advice, unless you’re asked for it. Some people just want to vent out their problems and may just need ears to listen to them. Some may also just need some comforting words to alleviate whatever, they are feeling. Listen to the other person to determine whether he or she really wants help.

5. Think about possible outcomes.

Before suggesting a course of action, be sure that you have thought about the possible consequences. Do not just dish out what you think is the best way to deal with the problem, but you should also be aware of what this particular action could bring in the end. For all you know, the solution you present may just bring about more problems in the long run.

6. Talk it out.

Sometimes it is best to talk with the person and come up with the solution together. You can guide a person to ask the right questions, to see the whole picture, see all of his or her options, and letting that person pick out the option that suits the circumstances.

By brainstorming with the other person, you help him or her arrive at the solution.

7. Always make it clear that the final decision rests with the person seeking advice.

Never give absolutes. When dispensing advice, start with the best solution you have in mind, and then offer alternatives. Then always tell the person seeking advice that the final decision is up to him or her. Moreover, make it very clear that it is okay with you if he or she decides not to take your advice.

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